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Prosebit: NAG Posting [Oct. 5th, 2007|10:11 pm]


NOTE: This entry is posted in my journal, but since it's writing, I decided to post it to NAG as well.

I had some spare time today, so I decided to write. I was feeling rusty, however, so I did a random one off instead of working on a bigger project. I'll indent this later, when I'm feeling less lazy.

“I don’t WANT to wear a dress!”
“But Thera, baby, you’ll look so pretty in this. Won’t you please put it on for mommy?”
The small girl tore the pink frills from her mother’s arms. As her mother cried out in shock, the child threw the dress to the ground with a scream and began stomping on it, eyes blazing with crazed fury.
“Honey, honey noooooo!”
“Thera, God damnit, stop that this instant!”
The girl’s mother latched onto her with long, thin fingers, and shoved her aside. Howling with rage, Thera ran forward to her mother and began kicking her in the shins.
Down the hall, two boys, one six and the other thirteen, lounged idly on two sumptuously upholstered chairs. The younger of the two glanced over in the direction of his mother and sister with bored, narrow eyes, then said to his brother with a sigh,
“How long do you suppose it will be before she calls Miss Bianco?
The older boy, tall and athletic, shrugged, staring at the wallpaper.
“I give it another minute or two. I don’t know what Father was thinking, giving her the day off. The woman’s a hag, but he can’t expect Mother to handle Thera on her own. Bianco can barely manage her, and she’s Satan Incarnate.”
The younger boy chuckled unpleasantly, pale eyes glinting.
“Family pictures are always a treat.”
The boy’s eyes snapped to the doorway moments before his three-year-old sister came tearing out of it, completely naked. She was to the staircase by the time their mother came careening from the room. Face flushed, she turned to her sons.
“Don’t just sit there, do something!”
The older boy’s eyes rolled to the steps.
Hey Thera,” he shouted, “back door’s unlocked!”
“You evil little beast!” his mother hissed, making a slap at his face, but hitting the wall instead as he darted his head to one side. She glared her loathing at him for a moment before tearing down the staircase, cursing loudly.
The younger boy turned to his brother, one eyebrow raised.
“You know, I don’t think she’s particularly pleased with you,”
“Nah,” the older boy said, leaning back against the floral paper, “that’s just a term of endearment.”
The two listened as the cacophony of breaking glass and overturned furniture sounded below, interspersed with their mother’s swearing and Thera’s shrieks. Soon after, their mother’s voice carried up the staircase in a piercing screech.
God damnit Thera, NOT THE BACK DOOR!”
The younger boy turned to his brother, nodding approval.
“Nice work, Edward.”
He bowed theatrically from his chair.
“What can I say? It’s a gift, and one to which you can never hope to aspire .”
The younger boy smirked at his brother.
“Really now?”
Looking smug, he rose from his seat and strutted down the staircase. Moments later, he sauntered back up. Edward peered over at him as he returned to his chair.
“What did you do?
He shrugged, thin lips curved into a smile.
“You’ll see soon enough.”
They waited in silence for several minutes, and Edward began to fidget. His younger brother remained perfectly still, pale face haughty.
Then, the voices of Thera and her mother became audible; Thera was screaming her head off, while her mother shouted,
“Stop writhing about like that, it’s unseemly!”
The boys listened as she turned the doorknob; the door did not open.
There was a moment’s silence, followed by a rattle as she yanked at the knob again. Then, they air filled with the sound of pouting fists, and their mother cried,
Edward gazed down at his brother, slowly shaking his head as he grinned.
“It appears I stand corrected. Excellent job, Devon; it seems I taught you well.”
Devon raised an arched eyebrow.
“Taught me? Please. That came naturally.”
Edward abruptly cuffed his ear, then sprang up.
“You tell yourself whatever you want, Dev,” he said, sneering down at his seething brother, “but we both know you wouldn’t be anything if it wasn’t for me.”
Devon hung back as his brother ambled down the staircase. There was nothing good-humored about the glint in his eyes.

[User Picture]From: dumpysaurus
2007-10-06 02:46 pm (UTC)
Holy cow, Devon is a precocious little hellraiser. JACKIE I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I FIGURED OUT WHOSE FAMILY THIS IS. Ahahaha.
I love how mum's manner goes from sweet to Mommy Dearest after Thera's tantrum starts. You get so much of the dynamic between all four of these folks in such a short nub of prose. Man, Ed and Dev's dry exchanges are so sarcasm-saturated I could puke. YOU WRITE THEM WELL.

It's awesome that you're finding time for Jackie-writing! I'M PROUD OF YOU.
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[User Picture]From: seraravi
2007-10-06 03:38 pm (UTC)
Yeah, mini!Dev is SUPER precocious. He doesn't act much like a six-year-old at all. But he was always way more mentally developed than most kids his age. Probably because he's scarily intelligent. Though actually, he kind of waffles between feeling obnoxiously arrogant and haughty, and feeling very low on himself and sullen. He kind of had mood swings. Still does, actually. He's a little less cocky and straightforward than Ed, and Edward is much more outspoken. As kids, though, they share that sarcasm-soaked, frequently bored, little-concern-for-others thing. Whereas Thera is just mental.

I knew you'd get excited when you figured it out. I didn't state it outright, because it'd be more fun to wait and see how long it would take you to realize who it was.

I kind of have a thing for dysfunctional families, so when I was looking for something short to write, I thought, "Hey, why not do a kid!Devon piece? I know THAT family is majorly screwed up!" Except I can't do it past the point where Devon is eight and a half, because that's when Ed gets shipped off, and I prefer to write them when all three kids (or at least both boys) are around. I kind of want to explore the dynamic between Devon and different people (esp. family) BEFORE he took over, because that's the basic core of his personality. When Ed was in charge, he was still that sarcastic, precocious kid who kind of enjoyed having a laugh at somebody else's expense, and had the kind of privileged freedom of having special status/money without much authority (or actually, switching constantly between being unsupervised and being under accessive authority). I don't know, it's fun to play with, and it'll probably help me understand older Devon better.

I also wrote a random entirely dialoge bit befoe this that does not involve Devon (directly), but it's not as good. Sort of a warm up for this.

Glad you like it!
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